Nine Months Blu-ray offers decent video and mediocre audio, but overall it's a poor Blu-ray release
Samuels life is perfect. That is, until he finds out his girlfriend is pregnant. Now he must face the issues that come with being an expecting father, in a most entertaining way.
The usually sure-handed Chris Columbus (Home Alone, Mrs. Doubtfire) stumbles with Nine Months, a lazy and predictable
Romantic Comedy about love, parenthood, and genre cliché. The idea is stale and the arc unimaginative, and Columbus' reliance on old gags and bland
lead
characters certainly don't help the movie escape a terribly routine cadence. That's not to say the film isn't without merit or is a total loss. Nine
Months certainly has a few moments of catchy silliness up its sleeve. The cast gives the movie its all, for the most part, particularly in the
portrayal of those secondary characters who truly spur on the action. It's also watchable to a point, in essence making it one of those movies that's
best enjoyed in the background rather than scrutinized with every passing frame and each uttered syllable in search of some meaning which just isn't
there. Nine Months has its heart in the right place and makes no allusions that it's anything other than a wannabe warm and cuddly Comedy,
even if most of its other pieces are disproportionately out of whack.
Even I know this is pretty bad.
Samuel Faulkner (Hugh Grant) and Rebecca Taylor (Julianne Moore) are a relatively happy couple. They both have good jobs -- he's a
psychotherapist, she's
a dance instructor -- and their relationship is steady, but Rebecca decides she wants something more. her clock is ticking -- she's almost thirty --
and her hormones and her heart both are telling her it's time for a baby. Samuel isn't too thrilled with the prospect, but, surprise! Rebecca winds up
pregnant soon thereafter, anyway. There's only one problem: Samuel just can't seem to come to terms with the idea of fatherhood. He's witness
to the "joys"
of parenthood when he and Rebecca find themselves in constant contact with the Dwyer family; dad Marty (Tom Arnold) and mother Gail (Joan
Cusack) move a mile-a-minute in a futile effort to control their three little rowdy girls, with a fourth on the way. Meanwhile, Samuel's friend Sean
(Jeff
Goldblum) openly speaks up against fatherhood, going so far as to leave his longtime girlfriend rather than begin a family with her. Lastly, one of
Samuel's young patients shows a complete disregard for his father in therapy. It's the perfect storm of negativity, but is it enough to make Samuel
follow in Sean's footsteps, or will he let his guard down, embrace the idea, and turn into super dad?
In a sense, the script behind None Months is a real strength. It cleverly creates a few characters who push Samuel into his dilemma and
therefore drive the chaos that defines the movie. Does he want some snotty, unappreciative brat -- much like his patient -- in his life? Does he
want to turn
into the super dad he so loathes? Or does he want to be the secretly depressed loaner like his artist friend? Nine Monthsalmost
makes up for its one-dimensional leads because its one-dimensional secondaries represent the perfect foils to the quickly-degenerating Samuel.
They're all one trick ponies, but in this case, that's all they need to be. The problem lies with Samuel; his growth throughout the movie is
predictable to a fault,
and he maneuvers along such a perfectly straight path across the film's readily-evident arc that the ancillary characters become worthless because
it's
no
surprise where either Samuel or the greater story will end up; they're just there, instead, to fill in gaps, a shame because they're so good at their
thematically worthless jobs.
The performances are rather good, too, though again it's from those secondary characters rather than the primaries that the movie generates most
of its positives. Both Grant and Moore play their parts with a disappointing lack of complexity or authenticity. They choose to just go
through the motions of love, surprise, separation, and love again with no real sense of connection; Columbus attempts to fill in the gaps with some
cheesy
bedroom scenes, nightmare scenarios involving a giant praying mantis, and an unimaginative scene of reconciliation, but all to poor effect. On the
other hand, Tom Arnold is at his goofy best in
the movie; he exudes enough energy and charisma for the entire cast, and dwarfs Grant in every scene they share. Jeff Goldblum is stable as the
movie's de facto conscience, the man who's done wrong by his life and comes to admit as much as the story unfolds. Robin Williams plays a rather
funny
part as a misspoken Russian doctor who means well and seems to know his craft, even if it sometimes gets lost in translation. As with the
characters they play, the secondaries shine brightly, though most of the rest of the movie -- notably its shocking absence of authentic humor and
overwhelming amount of forced and unfunny jokes -- exudes only a faint dimness.
Nine Months features a terribly uneven 1080p Blu-ray transfer. Most obvious is the way the movie transitions from scenes overwhelmed by
DNR to those that pass by relatively unscathed by DNR. Many scenes are borderline obliterated by noise reduction, yielding plastic-smooth skin
textures, lifeless backgrounds, a sterile feel, and a general flatness. Random scenes, however, retain a natural grain structure that enhances details and
provides the image with a stable and pleasant natural film-like texture. Colors, on the other hand, are consistently bright and catchy. They're vibrant
but hardly ever gaudy, neutral rather than warm, and certainly never dim. The image shows some heavy spotting and speckling over the opening titles,
which greatly diminishes as the film gets going but never quite goes completely away. Banding, blocking, and the like are infrequent and minor. The
transfer does maintain good stability and definitely benefits from the boost in resolution to 1080p, allowing for sharper details on much larger display
sizes. If it weren't for the frequent -- but not constant -- noise reduction, Anchor Bay would have a nice little authentic catalogue transfer on its hands.
Nine Months births a decent but underwhelming Dolby TrueHD 5.1 lossless soundtrack. To be sure, the film doesn't give this lossless
presentation much to work with -- this is a routine Comedy soundtrack if there ever was one -- but there are still some chinks in its armor. Music, as it's
heard over the opening titles, is adequately spaced -- playing, even, with a noticeable surround support element -- and offers up decent clarity.
Elements do seem to randomly lose a little volume and presence at times, dropping down a notch and playing as a touch more shallow than some of the
better parts. Dialogue is steady and natural, remaining firmly entrenched in the center speaker. Ambience is minimal to nonexistent. This is a classic
"it gets the job done" track, and is one that's not all that distinguishable from a good lossy presentation.
Nine Months is, at its best, a decent mid-grade Romantic Comedy, and its finest moments come from the secondary characters and the
second-tier actors who play them. The headliners lack chemistry and play the parts with a disappointing routine cadence that saps the movie of
much of its potential for charm and energy. Likewise, the plot is predictable to a fault and the film's positives end up being for naught since they really
don't do much
in a greater sense for the end product. Nine Months has its moments, and diehard genre fans might want to check it out, but it's only a
forgettable
little venture on its best day. Anchor Bay's Blu-ray release of Nine Months is equally bland. A frustrating transfer, a mediocre soundtrack, and
next to no extras make this a rather disappointing all-around release. Skip it.
