The Rebound Blu-ray Review
Jonesing for a younger man.
Reviewed by Casey Broadwater, February 8, 2012
Another day, another lame, straight-to-video romantic comedy.
The Rebound, from writer/director Bart Freundlich, was produced
way
back in 2009 and got canned--in the U.S., at least--when the film's distributor folded. Now, three years later, 20th Century Fox is finally shuffling the
movie out for an obligatory Blu-ray appearance, where it might net a few sales--thanks to the less discriminating of star Catherine Zeta-Jones' fans--
before disappearing into the dusty annals of forgotten rom-com history.
It's not aggressively
in-your-face awful--that, at least, might promise a few so-bad-it's-good laughs--but
The Rebound is worse: it's
one of those sentimental comedies that's so unswervingly mediocre, so start-to-finish dull, that it vanishes instantly from your mind the moment you
finish watching it. The sort of film that if your dentist offered to put it on during your root canal, you might reasonably decline and more productively
spend the next 95-minutes entertaining yourself by counting the tiny holes in the ceiling tiles. It's a critic's worst nightmare--a movie that leaves you
mentally empty, emotionally unmoved, and with absolutely nothing substantial to say beyond
skip it.
So, let me make this quick. Zeta-Jones plays Sandy, a 40-year-old housewife who discovers incriminating evidence--while browsing through some
family home videos--that her husband has been unfaithful. Taking this as a sign that it's high time for her to finally follow the dreams she gave up for
marriage, Sandy packs up her two precocious elementary-aged kids and moves to Manhattan, where she finds an apartment over a coffee shop and
takes a job as a fact-checker at a cable sports news network. This plot point's for you, dudes. Sandy is
really into fantasy league basketball and
keeps insane binders full of statistical graphs and pie charts.
In need of a babysitter, Sandy hires one of the downstairs baristas, Aram Finklestein (Justin Bartha), an awkward 25-year-old who's drifting in post-
collegiate ennui and has no idea what direction his life should take, much to the annoyance of his overbearing Upper West Side parents (Art Garfunkle
and Joanna Gleason). Sandy and Aram actually meet cute in a women's self-defense class, where Aram has taken a part-time gig getting beat up in a
puffy sumo suit while pretending to be a sexual predator. Hey's anything but; soft-spoken, shy, and good with kids, he quickly becomes a de facto
member of the family, watching Sandy's rugrats as she's at work or off on grimly awkward blind dates.
For the sake of explaining the comedic tone of the first act, let me describe Sandy's encounter with a touchy-feely chiropractor she's been set up with:
Early on in the date, the guy makes a move to kiss her out on the street, but he's distracted when he spots a porta-potty over Sandy's shoulder. He
breaks off the embrace and goes in to loudly do his business, all the while grilling Sandy about her hobbies while she waits awkwardly outside. When he
emerges--and remember, there's no way to wash your hands in one of those things--he disgustingly starts caressing her face.
It's weird; the first half of the film is filled with these kinds of gross-out moments--body fluid gags, a hobo in a trench coat flashing the kids--and it's
initially confusing. Are we in for a crass, edgy, Judd Apatow-style comedy, or a weepy, feel-good chick-flick? The problem is, the film tries to do both,
but simply doesn't have the style or intelligence to pull off either convincingly. The jokes crash land, dead-on-impact, and soon after the inevitable May-
to-December romance between Sandy and Aram blossoms--if you didn't see that coming, perhaps you should have your rom-com viewer's license
revoked--it wilts under the weight of soppy, wet-tissue melodrama.
Yes, Aram's purity of heart and sheer good-naturedness gradually win over his MILF employer--I'd advise against googling that acronym if you're still
blithely unaware of its meaning--but the conflict here is wether or not Sandy can envision herself long-term with a man fifteen years her junior. The
two have a good time together--minus having to explain to Sandy's sex-curious son what they're doing tussling naked on the couch--but is Aram more
than the titular rebound? When Sandy has a pregnancy close-call and begins questioning the whole affair, the film takes an oddly serious turn that just
doesn't jive with everything that's happened previously in the story. We've essentially gone from Judd Apatow to Lifetime Original Movie, and the last
act becomes a drawn-out montage of self-discovery, wherein Sandy rises through the company ranks while the heartbroken Aram is off traveling the
world. Will they find each other again once they've both done some growing and reflection? What do
you think?
It might give you an
ah-ha, now I see revelation to know that writer/directer Bart Freunlich is married to actress Julianne Moore, who's ten
years his senior. The whole script--from Aram's directionlessness to his concerned Jewish parents--smacks of loose autobiography, which gives
The
Rebound a kind of low-rent, dumbed-down, sex-and-dysfunction-in-New-York Woody Allen vibe. There's very little about the film that works.
Catherine Zeta-Jones
is funny and sexy and pretty much perfect for the role, but she can't carry the dead-weight of the story alone. As for
The Hangover's Justin Bartha, he's got this soft, vaguely creepy, almost Kirk Cameron-ish quality that I can't quite put my finger on. I don't
have kids, but if I did, I don't think he'd be my first choice for a sitter.
The Rebound Blu-ray, Video Quality
"Straight-to-video" may conjure up some negative picture quality connotations, but set those aside. While
The Rebound is no visual
masterpiece, it does have sharp, colorful cinematography, reproduced nicely on Blu-ray by way of a 1080p/AVC-encoded transfer. The movie was shot on
35mm with what looks to be a very fine-grained film stock--even in darker scenes the grain intensity doesn't really spike much--and, as usual for 20th
Century Fox titles, there are no signs of egregious DNR or edge enhancement. Likewise, the print is spotless and there are no major compression
concerns. Basically, the image looks natural and as-intended. There are occasional shots that look a bit soft, but most of the scenes feature impressive
clarity. Skin texture, clothing fabrics, and even eyebrows and lashes are cleanly rendered in close-ups, while interior design and architectural details look
sharp in longer shots. Like most modern rom-coms, the lighting is somewhat over-bright and the camerawork generic, but the color balance is actually
quite good, with warm, consistent skin tones, rich neutrals, and occasional splashes of vivid color, like the laser-red lights during a night club scene. And
contrast is just where it needs to be--neither too flat nor too punchy. A fantastic Blu-ray presentation for a rather underwhelming film.
The Rebound Blu-ray, Audio Quality
20th Century Fox has given
The Rebound the now-default lossless DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 surround sound treatment, and the mix is clear
and stable, if a bit low-energy. Of course, that's to be expected; rom-coms aren't exactly known for intense, effects-heavy sound design. The rear
channels here are limited to quiet ambience--New York street sounds, club chatter, etc.--while occasionally offering some bleeding room for a phoned-in
score by the usually awe-inspiring composer Clint Mansell, whose list of prior credits include
Requiem for a Dream,
The Fountain, and
Black Swan. The track doesn't have much opportunity to be forceful or even particularly dynamic, but the mix is balanced well and has as much
heft as it needs to have. The real focus here is on the dialogue, which is always clear and easily to understand. The disc includes optional English SDH
and Spanish subtitles.
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